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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 22 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

have him respect me or even love me - as much as has the capacity to love.  He told me to read an article one night--then said "of course Estie you may know that it isn't you I love it is an abstraction that I have created around you and made of you".  I knew it--rather felt it than knew it. - and said "I knew".  I read the article.  The old man was talking to the boy about desire.  He should be able to think beauty as well as feel it.  I must be 

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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 23 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

able to reverence it and not [[strikethrough]] just [[/strikethrough]] want to satisfy his desire to take it.  The beautiful body of a woman can be admired and be a force which makes one more appreciative of beauty, without taking it. 
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The room--there is a print of the [[underlined]] Spanish Boy [[/underlined]] on the wall. How beautiful.  It makes me laugh and it makes me cry because it is beautiful.---How separate and apart it all seem[[strikethrough]]ed[[/strikethrough]]^[[s]] from me.  I did not belong there.  I was an