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I have no opinions other [[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 26 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]] than the ones the one he has given me. I try to feel that I like what I can not help liking but I know I instinctively like what he does--because he is the one thing I idealize. He seems perfect to me. I shall always remember him with [[strikethrough]] both [[/strikethrough]] pleasure--that he was such a force in me--and bitterly because he grew tired of me. God! I wish Nolya were [[end page]] [[start page]] here - somehow only now [[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 27 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]] do I feel her equal. I have cried tonight because I could not keep back the tears. It has been years since I have cried as I have this evening. The unrestraint was a new sensation. Men will fall in love with me I think - because they will attracted by my self sufficiency. All of them will be John's inferiors. There will be momentary interest but I feel confident that I shall never love anyone as I have John. Jack hasn't the least