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[[underline]] Wednesday, January 13 [[/underline]]  

John roused us at 8:10. There was a little wind but probably not enough to cause much delay. We ate & were out early. Bill came round & told me he wanted gh & I to help collect ice for Ed Fireman today. We would go & find a crevasse & take it from the walls. Gh was to ride up the monocline w Bill & we would work together.

I reved up my skidoo when we appeared ready to take off. But no, Gh & Bill were at his skidoo having a talk. A long talk. I was ready, once again, to start. Then it occurred to me to look for the badge card that has clamped down my box all this time. I lost it yesterday sometime after our last stop, It might even be in camp. 

As I was poking around Bill came to me on his snowmobile w gh. and asked if I would like to stay home today. I was stunned. Yesterday Ghislaine volunteered to stay home today and discussed what to pack in our food boxes. Now, suddenly I was elected to stay home. Bill said

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we had only 2 ice crushing pipes & it would make more sense if someone stayed and packed boxes for our trek to the Western Ice Fields. This still did not explain why me? I am not the one who was sick & sat sullen on my skidoo refusing to talk or help my partner collect meteorites.

Bob & John were going to try out the acoustic sounders to measure ice thickness. With some protest, demanding to know how I got elected,-- we didn't even flip a coin to see which of us should go-- I walked away and spent the day in a rage.

Ghislaine would have shrieked her head off if Bill * I had put our heads together and given her the honor of staying home. The point is the WAY they did it. Three people were set to go on a project. [[underline]] Three [[/underline]] should have been in on the discussion of how to solve the 3 people - 2 skidoo problem. [[underline]] THREE [[/underline]] I might well have volunteered to stay home-- I'm not that crazy about crevassing & chipping ice for Ed Fireman. But TWO decided. I wondered all day long what their friendship is worth to me and whether & how to tell them what I think. I can be treated as an unperson once--but not twice.