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544  

May 10   Madrid.

Armillas had told me about his work & family. Four children, a son in the army & a daughter of 24, already married. He is pleasant. About 50, grey, short, quiet spoken, with large dark eyes & pleasant short nose, small lips - delicate hands.

'Es ridicolo, Ana, pero soy enamorado de todo lo que tu dices. Me gusta tanto su compania que me siento menos veinte años. Te quiero, verdad, palabra. No es fantástico, la vida. Ud., artista y yo, que soy nada, como somos encontrado en el aeroplane?' Well, I suppose I should be used to all this by now. I will try to be, anyway.

Reached the hotel by 3. AM - & had practically no sleep, since I was up by 8.30 AM.



545.   

May 11 Madrid.

8.30 AM - up & still tired. Too tired to sleep longer & unwell into the bargain, five days too soon. I suppose this accounts for my swollen ankes. However, I spent a wonderful morning again at the Prado Museum studying the paintings. On second sight - Rubens & Tintoretto less. Veronese, Titian, Greco & Goya - tremendous. Perhaps in that order as well. No - Titian and Velazquez - who amazed me. What great mastery of pure painting. From the formal point of view. I was near to tears several times, praying inwardly for strength & courage to be able to create something worth while in the future. What have I done with my talent? Dispersed all these years. I now owe it to my talent & to myself to be purely dedicated to my work in the future. Please God, I will do so, and thanks to Him as well that I have come to this realization.