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118
Friday, April 27, 1938

Thinks is necessary, that which one thinks he owes to life and life owes to him - but the point the inevitable (at least so far) stumbling block, is to find just what these things are .... I wonder if I shall find [[strikethrough]] then [[/strikethrough]] what they are before it is too late to accomplish them - any of them.  I wonder if when I die I will have had an ideal, and if I will have lived up to it.  I wonder then what I shall think of all this nonsense....

(See pages 59 - 64)


119
[[strikethrough]] Saturday, April 28, 1928 [[/strikethrough]]
Sunday April 20, 1930

I wish I could really express my feelings about Bob, about the relationship we have had, because these feelings and this relationship are the most genuine, the happiest emotions and contact I have ever experienced.  It's been "an even tempo, because we've kept it on one.  Quite easily it could have been a crescendo.  It's been comfortable and happy"  Late afternoons.  The misty evening. The glorious joy of a day like Tuesday, blue, blue sky and not too brazen sun, the cherry trees in bloom.  The supper at Longchamps, perfect in design;  orange tomato juice and orange lined plates;  brown coffee and the brown suit and the golden brown coffee-pot;  yellow lemon and hair;  blue plates with white and checkered blouse;  the comfortableness of an understanding, deep and sincere, uncheapened by pretendings or too highly tuned emotions.  Words, - - and smiles and laughs and double-entendres.  The happiness and carefreeness of late afternoon, blue-gray ones and golden rayed ones.  Tea on the unsteady green table.  Not too much cream for him; thin slices of lemon for me.  Two pieces?  Only one for me.  The left and right corners of the sofa.  Photographs and Europe.  Thousands of little episodes — all the same value of happiness, sincereness.  It doesn't need a frame for retrospect; it is framed, with all the security of [[strikethrough]] being [[/strikethrough]] gladness.  It was pure and simple and alive.  Bob is a rather wonderful person.