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148
Sunday, May 27, 1928

me what the trouble was, and I wasn't supposed to know.

To be brutally honest, I'm not truly excited about Europe.  I'm a bit apprehensive, because I'm rather afraid of myself and because I wonder if mother will be happy with me.  There is something bothering her.  I don't know if it's Daddy or what — but something.  Am I enough of a stimulant to keep her happy?  Then although I can't decide definitely, I wonder if it's because I do hate leaving Bob.  I don't know if I shall actually "miss" him, in the colloquial sense of the word — but I rather think I will feel an emptiness at leaving him.  Of course it's best, but it's hard to see the thing as a whole.  I feel [[crossed out]] [[?]] [[/crossed out]] a little sad to-night.  I don't know why, but I do.

TRIP    July 5, 1930  [[see note]]
149
TRIP 
July 5, 1930
[[strikethrough]] Monday, May 28, 1928 [[/strikethrough]] 

On the Conte Grande

This trip has been such a peculiar collection of things.  The first night I was terribly unhappy at having come at all - and at leaving Bob.  It [[crossed out]] was [[/crossed out]] is one of the realest things I've ever felt, this affection for him.  Nothing I could do seemed to be worth leaving him — but of course it was best, there with mother.  She was very homesick, very easily annoyed at me, and altogether the trip looked like a mess.  Bob had introduced me to Charlie Perera and he was nice to me, but at first seemed to be such a good and uninteresting person.  Then came Jack Schroeter, who took me on deck and wanted to kiss me....  He is rather an ordinary person, in the worst [[??]] sense of the word.  He comes from Ohio, went to M.I.T., is at present a flyer in the U.S. Flying Corps.  He is not particularly clever or well cultured.  He is rather nice looking, black hair, blue eyes, tall, but he lacks poise and class.  The next night with much noise and much champagne — and Jack Thurlwald — a White Plains person — and Fred Mittendorf — Yale and fun — and Bill [[?Illis-Georgetower]] — a lawyer, attractive, good dancer, good line [[??]], smokes a pipe, likes Harriet Hughes, tells me he likes me.  Sylvia Carmel, very attractive, sun-burned, enormous green eyes, intelligent, sophisticated, blasé[[??]], cultured.  A rather superb person.  The trip has been "fun", but there has been no real romance, no one to help me gather

Transcription Notes:
Crossed out calculations at top of 2nd page not transcribed.