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214
Wednesday, August 1, 1928

San Diego and Aqua Caliente.  Aqua Caliente was a queer place.  It seemed to be the acme of sophistication and artificiality set in the middle of deserts and of barren, naked land.  Lunch in the patio.  Then losing money at roulette and winning money at the horse races.

Somehow, in spite of the lack of a boat romance, I enjoyed the boat trip immensely.  Mr. Batty and Lou Clayton were good companions, and my "forbidden fruit" visits with Harry Leland were entertaining.  Mother was less home-sick than usual and that was good.


215
September 20, 1931
[[strikethrough]] Thursday, August 2, 1928 [[/strikethrough]]

"'And that' said John, 'is that!'"  It's finished with Bob finally, and better so, because the realness, the core has been dead for a long time.  But oh! how we do cling to incidents — something with a wealth of beauty and loveliness.  Only yesterday I said one could enjoy things as much in retrospect, because it gives the incident glamour and erases the ugly spots, but it is because of this, I suppose, that we do cling to past things.  It is better, because Bob still loves me, really and deeply, and I don't love him.  The way it has been lately has been with frayed edges — without beauty.  Too many little rifts within the lute have made the music dead and mute. 

Just before I met Bob I wrote my thoughts about incidents in this book —. And only now have I lived up to them.  I am sorry that the circle has reached the beginning again — but it is better than forcing what can never be.

My feeling is that if Bob and I get away from eachother for a long while, that someday we can achieve a friendship without "love".  Perhaps it has meant to [[sic]] much for him to achieve that ever — but 

Transcription Notes:
Last sentence beginning with "The way it.." was circled. An arrow indicated the circled sentence was to be moved before the previous sentence, beginning with "Too many little..." 2. Reviewed. Above sentence moved to where the writer intended.