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224
Saturday, August 11, 1928

Nice;  Rhinebeck with "Louisa May Alcott's" house, and the bastard version;  and Tivoli with F. Ferroe, Undertaker, —" and outher househole goods very cheep"; and the beer and cheese on the hill side;  and supper in Fred's Diner with "Let's Call It A Day" — and the bluebird.

I wonder what will happen.  Things don't, can't keep on a level plane —. 


225
[[strikethrough]] Sunday, August 12, 1928 [[/strikethrough]]
May 6th 1934

Interrsting discussion about subjectivity & objectivity in art, particularly modern art today with Agnes Rindge, James Loeb and John, provoked by the modern art exhibit here.  (Very splendid).  I was silent — ignorance or trepidation.  John frightens me.  I don't say all I could:—. Too bad.  I feel very poor mentally, never been put face to face with values before this year.  I want so much to have stature of ideas, and the background to support them.  I want to learn and learn, and to create further from my learning.  How?  If only someone would realize my ignorance and guide me, instead of presupposing so much & making me be ignorant underneath & lying on top.

And what about John?  I feel so terribly fond of him, and he is so very dear to me that I must keep myself from smothering whatever there is which exists between us.  I don't know quite what it is — but I feel convinced there is something.  I want to be with him.  I am happy in his presence.   He is in my thoughts so often.  I keep wanting the articulation of a physical relationship — but I am sensible enough to

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