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Oct. 14th 1934

Of course he doesn't care very much about me, she thought, as they stood in the room with all the others, hanging the photographs for the exhibition.  But I do love him very much.  Since he has come in the room is active, and all the ineffectual people standing around are being forced to move and act.  He has carried a whole pile of gold brass hooks over to the pictures, and he is fitting them into the new white wall.  He is spacing them carefully.  He knows how it should have been done. He is alive.  He is active, and he looks dear today.  The black sweater and those horrid checked trousers.  I should like to knit him a sweater, carefully, correctly, slowly, so that it would be just right, so that it would really fit, and she felt real tenderness for him, and she saw him standing there in the sweater she knit for him.  And then on the floor she saw the photograph of Tonio Selwart, and it made her feel strange, and her stomach seemed to turn over in the peculiar way, and she all was draws up into a little knot, and she blushed and she felt queer, and she hated someone for the first time. It was a perfectly simple, straightforward picture. He was sitting in a large comfortable chair looking down, a osft [[soft]] face, a handsome face without strength or hardness, soft blondish hair--about the color of her hair. And she wanted to look at it, and she turned away.  And she thought of Joella's remark--"oh, yes--with Toni Selwart.  Everybody knows. He's supposed to be all over it now."  And she heard her Mother's remark. "Do people really get over it? Nijinsky?"  And she thought of his stories about the car and Tonio's little mother in Austria.  And of the night in Guadalajara when they saw Count of Luxembourg and he told her repeatedly about the time he saw it in Stuttgart with Tonio.  And of the postcard he was going to send Tonio. And of what he was thinking when he saw the picture of Tonio.  And she went on hanging pictures in the newly painted gallery.  And she felt a sudden sympathy for Lelia Barber, who stood there, majestic and beautiful, heroic, colorful, in pink and blue, who was also half in this group and half out, who liked