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him too. And she wondered if Leila knew about Toni. And she wondered if Leila cared that he had never made love to her. And she wanted very terribly to ask Leila. And every time someone mentioned the Selwart picture, wondering where to hang it she shuddered. And she heard them say it was an ugly picture, and she wanted to scream out he's an awful person. But she kept on hanging photographs of Andre Gide and Lily Pons. And finally the Selwart picture was left alone on the floor, far away from [[strikethrough]]all[[/strikethrough]] the few others that still remained to be hung. And she took it up, with the horrible fascination with which one matches a doctor dressing one's own wound, and she turned to him and she said, "Where does-- [[underline]]he[[/underline]] go?" because she couldn't mention ^[[Tonio's]] [[strikethrough]]his[[/strikethrough]] name. And [[strikethrough]] [[?]] [[/strikethrough]] he walked away. And so she asked George Lynes. And he didn't hear, so she held it up and she finally was able to pronounce his name. And George Lynes said, "Hang it way up toward the end. It's awful" And still she wanted him to see her holding it, and so she said, "he's facing the other way, so shouldn't he go down there? 2 And George said no. So she hung it up. And she wanted to drop it, and have the glass break and scratch it, and pretend it was a mistake, and everyone would think that it was a mistake, except him, and he would know. He would know then that she knew about Tonio, and that she believed it, and that it didn't make any difference. But she was afraid so she hung it carefully, and she left it there. And it's there now.

And later when they all went out to lunch and she went away she didn't see [[strikethrough]] John [[strikethrough]] him, she just saw a whole crowd of people going in the other direction, and so she walked back. And tears came into her eyes and she felt lonely and left out. And she kept hoping that he would miss her and wonder why she hadn't been asked. But she knew that even if he had he'd never say anything and that she'd make herself believe he did ntoice it and did care, always knowing he probably didn't, just knew in her heart[[strikethrough]]s[[\strikethrough]] of hearts that he didn't. And she realized only vaguely, but still somewhat, what he had done to her life. And she loved him with a kind of sad feeling the, because there was no end and no solution to it all.