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the new york magazine program

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!
By
DOROTHY BELLE FLANAGAN

THEY'VE sold that beautiful home and are moving to an apartment. I can't imagine why! They had a big house up in Connecticut; it set sort of far back from the road, and was it a place to throw parties? I'm telling you hardly a weekend ever came along that a gang of us didn't go up there and throw a real one. Why, I've taken as many as ten or a dozen up there on a weekend and plenty of beds for everyone, if you didn't mind doubling up some. There'd be two and three of us in a bed and Sue—that's my cousin—would put the children up on the third floor and she and Ben would sleep downstairs on the couch.

Ben's the fellow Sue married; a real sport, too. Every fall he'd buy a couple barrels of cider from some of the farmers around there and let it get hard. It got plenty hard, too! Had a kick like a third rail. I'll tell you that cider didn't last long when it was ready to be tasted. Not with our gang up there.

And food! You should see the food we'd pack away at that house! Something about food up in the country that tastes better than the stuff you get in town. You eat three times as much. Think of the prices they soak you in a restaurant for one little piece of chicken and then think of sitting down to platters just piled up with fried chicken! They were keeping some chickens, see, and when a gang of us would drop in for the weekend Sue could always go out and kill a couple more. And she can cook fried chicken! She used to do the cooking herself.

She tried a lot of maids but they never stayed long. Either it was too noisy for them or they complained of too much work or something.

The things we used to do up there! Just to show you—one time we missed Maxie and where do you suppose he was? Sue and Ben had an old-fashioned natural well on the side yard of their place that they were dippy about, and Maxie was sitting on the edge of it fishing! What do you think he'd done? He'd dumped the goldfish bowl into the well and there he was with Ben's tackle fishing for them! Even if he'd been sober he couldn't have caught them. Who ever heard of goldfish biting on a hook?

And that reminds me of the time one of the Markey twins dived through the vines out on the porch. Sue was training one of those vine things—you know—to climb up the house. She had it all tied up with string and this Markey—it was either Pat or Pet, don't know which—ran out on the porch and said she was Annette Kellerman and dived right into it. Funniest thing I ever saw! There was Pat or Pet sprawled out there on the lawn all covered with vines! She got right up and came back to the party, though, livelier than ever. First thing you know she and Pet or Pat were giving their imitation on the piano of two bulldogs fighting. Those kids are cards. They ought to go on the stage. I've told them so a lot of times. I remember saying to Bennie that same night, "Those kids are cards. They

[[image: illustration of two women playing piano]]

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mansfield theatre

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