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Mrs. Barry's Marvelous Chocolate Cake by Doris S. Blake English A-1a January 15, 1947 B R Very real, and on the whole well managed. I think Grandma's understandable divided mind (with reference to Mrs. B) would be clearer if you kept a consistent telling method from within it, allowing us to follow its reactions. At first you are very objective; later the story is wholly in G's thoughts. We need to be shown: [[circled]] 1. [[/circled]] G's dependence on Mrs. B and her cooking, [[circled]] 2. [[/circled]]G's realization of Mrs. B's selfishness as opposed to Helen's real anxiety about G's health. Your shifting method doesn't quite do the job soon enough. The colored housekeeper is very well motivated. Grandma is an old dear. I am delighted with your progress. [[Circled]] C [[/Circled]]