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you do not know how strongly I feel it or how wild my spirit & desires have been for the  last few days.
  I wish you were here & would talk to me --- but that can never be.
  I want to make love & be loved as could have been in my youth and I think it could still---only there is some fate which is always keeping me down & throwing me back on my  work --- for which I should be thankful I suppose since I can't be full of more than one thing at once.
  I won't write anymore about my feelings. I am looking forward to seeing