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regarded it as a disease, when though women often do I believe, this was just what I did not.  I only rebelled at being incapacitated for things I wanted to do & undergoing discomfort & e. for something I did not want.  I do not know why I can't seem to want it.  It will serve me right I suppose, if the child does not love me, since I have so hated the thought of it before it was  born.   The feeling you have about the kitten and I fear will have about this is partly the reason, but it is not all.  It seems as though it would be like a millstone tied about my neck.  But I doubt not