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try to define it, and I begin to think it a bit out of my line.  I don't know that I am entirely comfortable in the presence of such natures, they seem to fine for me.  Whether I have grown too "grossier" or was always so, I don't seem to have the capacity to make myself one of them.  I can stand one side and admire them immensely, but when I come in contact with them I feel somehow out of my element, of course with a man its different.  I feel that they are fine, honest, perfectly sweet natures, but I seem to have rendered myself incapable of talking to them with the same enjoyment that you do.  Somehow they always make me feel a bit ashamed of myself and that is uncomfortable and handicaps me at once.

What Mr. Goete would probably call my "apprenticeship" goes on with unabated vigor, but with no very beneficial effect upon my temper or my morals.  I am living in a sort of chronic dèche besides which my doctor has taken lately to poking things into me and cutting me to pieces in the most dreadful and distressing way, which you will kindly refrain from mentioning to my family should you see any of them.

I am very glad that your play is progressing but am afraid that I shall have no cash to get to New York with.  I am trying hard to get out of debt and it takes every cent that I can get to do it.  However I have put myself into a sort of micawber attitude and something may turn up before Christmas.  I should be very sorry to miss your show, and also the chance of seeing you all once more.  I did not know that Sawyer was at home.  Should you meet him again please say to him many things de ma parte.