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The Southwest Museum
Highland Park
Los Angeles, California

Sept. 27, 1934

Dear Johns:

Any praise the I feel is your due can wait for a later spilling. At this time I have but a few minutes that I can devote to letter-writing so I'll use them all to tell you my reactions after reading your book.

Beyond all doubt you have the best idea of sustained interest of any boy of your age the I have had the privilege of meet-ing personally.

There is a tendency on your part to take for granted that your reader is quite as familiar as you are with the details of the setting in which your story is placed.

You say that some certain cave showed signs of occupancy. What signs? Another cave showed signs of early man? What early man? What kind of signs? You mentioned the age of Lost City, but utterly failed to explain how anyone might judge the age of it? What is the criteria (get out the Webster) used?

Years ago I saw a Japanese [[crossed out]] pen [[/crossed out]] drawing of a horse. It was drawn with a brush and ink, and was made in seven strokes. Now, being fa-miliar with the appearance of horses, the drawing was very satisfying, but had I never seen a horse it wouldhave taken a deal more than seven strokes to make me understand exactly his nature. So it is with your writing. Try to remember at all times that your reader knows much less than you do, and sometimes even less than that, and then draw your pic- [[crossed out]] tu [[/crossed out]] tures accordingly.

Avoid all contractions such as couldn't and can't except in direct discourse.

The chapter called "Paradise Valley" show some of your best descriptive effort, but why in the name of Heaven did you set me all agog about those wild Indians and then wind up giving a darned old fish story? I felt like screaming for I was all set to absorb a lot of in-formation about the Paradise Valley Indians, their mode of life, food, habitation, social customs, warfare (remember you are writing primarily for boys) etc. and-so-on.

Beginning with Chapter VIII your manuscript shows much better writing that does the first part. The truth is I would recommend that you revamp some of those early chapters and place therein more detail to round out the bold strokes of your interesting experiences. You could make a lot more of the black bull incident. That would make a good illustration also.

Regarding illustrations I would say that you want to make