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60 
should stick around and watch my polish?

THEO
Pop, don't you think it would be better if you would let me give the word to Adele?

MR. PARKER
No. If I'm going to run a crooked house, I'm going to run it, and that goes for you as well as her.

THEO
But, Pop, sometimes she kinda gets by you.

MR. PARKER
Boy, I have never done anything like this in my life, but since I've made up my mind to it, you have nothing to say—— not a word. You have been moaning about me never making it so you can have a chance. Well, this time you can say I'm with you. But let me tell you something: I don't want no more lies from you, and no more conning me about painting, air-plane piloting, or nothing. If being a crook is what you want to be, you're going to be the best crook in the world——even if you have to drink mud to prove it.

THEO
(Pause.)
Okay, Pop.

MR. PARKER
(Moves toward back room.) Well, here goes nothing. Adele! (Just as he calls, Adele steps out of the back room, stopping him in his tracks.)

ADELE
Yes, Father.

MR. PARKER
Oh, you're here already. Well, I want to talk to—— well, I er-

ADELE
What is it?

MR. PARKER
(Pause.)
Nothing. I'll talk to you later. (He spots Bobby entering from the outside with a package wrapped in newspaper.) What you got there?

BOBBY
Uh, uh, fish!

MR. PARKER
Well, you better get them in the refrigerator before they stink on you.

THEO
(Going over to Bobby and taking package from him.) No, no. Now Bobby, I promised Pop we would never lie to him again. It ain't fish Pop. We've got something for you. (Puts the package on the table and starts unwrapping it. The two boys stand over the table, and as the typewriter is revealed, both turn to him.)

THEO AND BOBBY
Happy birthday!

MR. PARKER
Birthday? Birthday?

THEO and BOBBY
Yes, Happy birthday!

MR. PARKER
Now hold on just a minute!

BOBBY
What are we holding on for, Pop?

MR. PARKER
(Pause.)
That's a good question, son. We're—— we're holding on for a celebration! (Laughs loudly.) Thanks, fellows! But what am I going to do with a typewriter! I don't know nothing about no typing!

ADELE 
I would like to know where they got the money to buy one!

THEO
(Ignoring her.) You know what you told me about writing