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-2- 13B
that I left off several months ago, and to recapture the same
feeling. During that time my attitude has change a little, and
from this conflict I may have to change one spot, then I may have
to change the whole thing, because I depend on emotional creation.
In other words, I have to feel everything instead of just looking
at it. But I have found that even though I may have to change
parts I gradually get back inside of this painting, and feel as
I did when I started it months before.
When I walk out on the street, if I see anything interesting
in shape and color, even stones, I pick them up and bring them
home. If I see an interesting antique in a window I go in and
buy it. I gather together all these materials and gradually I
get used to them until they are a part of me. When I am thoroughly
acquainted with these objects I fit them together to suit my feeling
and construct material for a still life. I know exactly what it 
is all about because I have felt it, because I love it, because I
feel the shape and color. In the same way, I must know a person
very well to paint figures. Although I use models to practise
drawing and to strengthen my imagination, I never really paint
straight from the model. I use the knowledge I gain from practise
to create my imagination in the direction I do best. What I strive
for is the truth, and truth is not actuality, truth is knowledge
of an object from within.
Naturally, as I have painted all these years, I have
become much more pick-and-choosy about the type of model I like.
When I work from a model I work in sections, so as to learn more
to apply to the work I want to do. I have never really painted
a portrait of anybody. I am much more interested in painting
women, because a woman is more decorative, and I think for me
to admire woman is natural. I paint universal woman, as I dream
woman should be.