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JOKES AND GRINS

When to physics I go,
A little prayer I utter low;
I say in accents soft and deep,
"Please, please, Mr. West,
Exempt us from the test."

Bennie: Guess who I saw this morning?
Ed:––WHO?
Bennie: Everybody I looked at.

He excitedly: It's all over town.
She:––What?
He: Sidewalk.

It's not the cough that takes you away, but it's the coffin that they take you away in.

He: You are very popular today.
She: How is that?
He: I saw your picture in a popular magazine.
She: Which magazine?
He: Police Gazette.

Two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time––That is why some people are baldheaded.

Ad in Tulsa World:––
Wanted a lady that can wash, iron, and mild two cows.

He: Wont you give me a kiss?
She: No. you must remember, this is Lent.
He: Will you when you get it back?

Think twice before you speak once, and then talk to yourself.

Teacher: John, what is a conjunction?
John: A conjunction is something that connects two things.
Teacher: Give me an illustration.
John: "The horse was hitched to the fence by the halter."
Halter is a conjunction, because it connects the horse and the fence.

I shall endeavor to sing an Irish ballad entitled, "take back
your diamond necklace sir, my neck is turning green."

She: Where is your wife?
He: Her husband came and got here.
He: Have you heard the tail of the frog?
She: No.
He: It did not have one.

I chatter, chatter, as I go,
To join the brimming river,
Cows may come and calves may go,
But bull goes in forever.

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