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I could go back — to what I once felt & hoped for. Lets say you have successfully killed me — but not yet Susie & Eric. You have done so in a typical way — no House or Home — no attention to kids — all attention to your mother all attention to your work — no fun from trips or work associates — no help after my big illness — your ego from fame & success from work. Never can a holiday be a holiday even for one day. Its too late Now. I'd hardly enjoy it. Only Eric would enjoy it — & he's a very sensitive fellow. He doesn't tell you what's on his mind. He's been taught to believe this is a male world, & you are great.