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i did what i wanted to do and it worked out. the book started in the early 30's because a young man in the stieglitz circle nagged me to do it. i complained about all the silly things people had written about my paintings and he said why dont you write about them yourself. he kept after me, and i started. then i didnt do anything any more- i never thought of myself as a writer. then 4 years ago my secretary found the beginnings of this manuscript. she started to nag me. when juan came to work for me, he nagged me some more. i dont know that it will change the way people see my paintings, but i wanted to do it. and now i dont care it was all this sexy interpretation of the flowers and the paintings that disturbed me in the 30's and it still does. freud was very fashionable at that time. its not that im against sensuality or sensual things. i can tell you that i have clipped out and thrown away some very sensual things. it is just that none of this is in my mind when i paint i never cared about success. i never cared about money. but i wanted to do what i wanted to do and sometimes i would even nag stieglitz about selling my paintings. hsi favorite word was no. he would say no all winter. and then in the spring i would say to him, well, alfred, dont you think its time i earned my living? white patio with red door, 1960. a new painting just finished. this time the square is orange and misty like space seen thru window. broken line is steps around the patio. blue line on top is the sky. she agrees that all this is there, even identifies them, then says it is just a painting, an abstraction. is that the way you want people to see it, as an abstraction, i asked. yes, she said. but your title orange patio with door will mislead them. she nods. i will have to think of another title yes i am the kind of person who eats the cookie around the raisin and saves that for last. i am orderly in that way. i have to work alone. i could never have let you into that room this morning until i had cleaned it up, until i had thought about it. the same with the painting. i had to make it and think about it and decide it was finished alone, before showing it to anyone. i paint very fast, once i know what i want to do. i have made paintings in a single day. this one took me 7 days pots. i took an interest in juan's work. i am working with clay now but i cant make it talk yet. its a new medium. physically very difficult. no, i dont mind your calling my pots sensual if you mean by that pleasant to the touch. i must have been influenced by photography. i saw so much of it. i looked at thousands of prints. i cant think specifically how. perhaps the clarity of the print influenced me. thepainting called road pa[]t the view began with a photograph. i tried to take a picture of the road from my window and had to turn my camera around to the side. when i saw the shape of the road in the strange print i thought now there is something. and so i made a painting from it. but you can count the photographs i have snapped on one hand.