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302A Copy Sent to David while he was visiting his family in [[Paulday?]] - D tried to get David to go to Dr. G while they would both be in NY end of (October 1950) Dearest David, You will be surprised to find that I am in New York and you will be more surprised when I tell you why. My trip here is a result of some serious thinking. I have been working well during the last few days, and perhaps it is because I have learned to work well, and because that has given me strength, that I have come here to work something out and propose a plan of action. Hell, David, I find it imposs bly [[impossibly]] hard to say this and yet it is really simple. If I had a broken leg, or if you did I would not hesitate to get it fixed, and for that reason I came to New York...to get fixed. But it is nothing so easy as a broken leg. It is us, David. You know what I mean. The upsets we have are bad for us. As I get older, I find that each time we have one it takes longer to recover, and I just dont bounce back...at least not intact.. I feel damaged, really damaged. I know you do too, and I believe you suffer torments lots of times when I am not even involved, but when I am involved, it is too much for me. David I love you, I want to live the rest of my life out with you, I want nothing else in the world except to do that, but I cannot do it and have these destroying scenes. I am not going to minimize them, now, as I try to do when they happen, and make them seem like a bad dream, because they are real, and that is how I live. I care enough about our life together to try to make an effort to correct this. I went to call on Dr. Glueck, we had a serious ta k [[talk]]... he is a wonderful and wise person, David. He takes an especial interest in us because he admires us both, and wants to see us happy. But he realizes that not only my emotional reactions, but physical ones as well are tied up in this, n d [[and]] so he agrees [[crossed-out]] that [[/crossed-out]] with me that if we are to have a decent life without violence and terible scenes, and without humiliating contrition afterwards, something or someone must help us. I realize that I am clutching at a straw, because you may scorn the idea, or be angry, but you musnt be angry, David, because you must realize that it is my concern for our life together that prompted my action. I am going to be in N. Y. until you return. I suppose you will get here about Tuesday...In any case get in touch with me through the gallery, or leave a message with Marian. I want you to go with me to the ?Dr. and get him to help us. He can. Our life could be good all the time instead of living with the destruction of fighting. There has been much beauty with you, but the fighting blights things, and then I can not work or perform like a decent human. If you had not shown me the beauties of work and if I had not learned to be a good artist maybe this would not matter to me so desparately, ut [[but]] I know now that I have to have serenity around me to produce and to fulfill myself. And you need it too. Believe me, my love for you prompts me in this. [[Left Margin]] *DR. Bernard Glueck was a personal friend of D&D for 5 years and spent many hours in conversation with them together and individually at Bolton Landing, visiting from his summer home in Elizabethtown. They had regular weekly [[?]] visits where Dr G.'s [[?]] stayed in Glens Falls. Dorothy consulted him professionally for the first time, just before writing this letter. [[?]] David would not.
