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Dear Lucy - Received your card today...funny was thinking abut you also. Am down in the laundry room gorging the machines with a years worth of dirt. Thinking - trying to sort things out. Have been trying to figure out why I resist change - on getting close to people. In reference to the group - I feel awkward and self conscious when I meet all of you outside of the group setting. I guess its part of my emotional immaturity and resistance to getting involved to people. Anyway, I'm working on it as my summer project...which maybe sounds a little bizarre. Am still looking for a loft but am caught between fears of being ripped off by an "evil dude" landlord and - the great need to get out of Westbeth - rent strike and all. Have two much venom for this place and mother Kaplan. Many thoughts about my relationships with the Dane. It's more or less staggering to a complete stop in terms of emotional input. Think he's involved with Tuttle - and again possibly they are just friends.