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As I grew older I was Fortunate enough to be sent away 
from time to time; but wherever I might happen to be, 
or whatever were my occupations, I never forgot that my fate was with these mad ones, and on my return I would find them again and be dragged precisely
as before into their crazy round of existence. 

I think my brother was generally aware of my presence. He felt my sympathy and accepted it in a form so comfortably remote. He was to me less fearful of the two strange creatures that encircled me; moreover, in his crazy fashion, his was the only protection I could hope to find. When I was with my brother I was not with my mother and this was a welcome alternative, although only a comparative relief. On occasions when my mother's mad mood would seek in me a victim he would even intervene on my behalf. These interventions were so unexpected that from mere astonishment my mother instantly calmed down. My brother would walk slowly forward and stand in silence between us, his limp, stooping figure facing my mother. 
It was eloquent, and sufficient to turn the scale in my favor. When I went away I was told that he sought my mother, an unusual thing for him to do, 
and with shut eyes stood silent and motionless before her. 
It was his way of protecting against my departure. 

In another chapter I have already spoken of my mother's devotion to St. Amar. In this life he was her one preoccupation. Why my brother did not reciprocate this affection remains a mystery. He showed no comprehension 
of the tenderness lavished on him. He reluctantly allowed my mother to draw his frowsy head on to her shoulder; but "My poor, darling boy!" "My beau-tiful St. Amar!" Passed enheeded, perhaps even unheard. He seemed aware of her presence only when in a state of animosity. I would see him draw near her quietly and, with a cane, start prodding her toes. She would affect unconcern and move further away. He, with diabolical insistence, would continue his game, moving with her. At last my mother would turn her anger on me as the only means of covering her confusion and retreat.