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so in your case.

I realize how much I must have wounded you by my personal criticism, as no doubt it seemed to be, when I feel how deeply your alusion [[allusion]] [[strikethrough]] [[?]] [[/strikethrough]] to my intrinsic crudeness cuts me. The more because I realize it fully and do not know how to change it, since true refinement & culture seems to be something the very essence of which is that it is undefinable and innate

I am certainly not in an epistolary mood just now so I will say good bye until I am.

But I do not see how my love for you could be cold, even if at times I feel a shadow of a doubt in regard to that natural, instintive [[instinctive]] passion that is called love.          
G.M.J.