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2. for the people that loved me, & supported me. I, especially, didn't want to let Bill & the Museum down. I can't help it, if triumph brings responsibility. And, lets face it, you, most of all I didn't want to let down. For example, in your letter with the essay, you say that your confidence in my general take of you & your work would sustain you, & I should feel free to voice any objections, or even, reject the essay. What bull, you're sure that my blowing your head off with a double-barreled shotgun won't shake you all that much. That's like my unshaken confidence when you sent a note last summer, saying it was probably the poor quality of the photos that kept you from getting much of a take on my new wk. And, of course, I was doubtedly assured & relaxed by the remark that it always takes the critic a little while to catch up to change. I loved you & trusted you & I knew this was simple honest doubt you felt compelled to be straight about, but none of this made me any less suicidal. Once my shrink warned me about