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Dearest Flora. What you must think of me - I dont know. But what happened is this - for three days I struggled with my worst self and finally made it agree to leave and to go to Albany. For 24 hours I packed on essentially sat into a state of ? depression. Wept for about half a day and thee got the letter - After that the struggle eased for a brief moment and then began again - I had to un-pack and weep all over again for now I dont want to stay - "If this be human nature ok then isnt human nature low" - now I dont know whether I'll go back to york - at all or not - at least then summer. But I shall be in New York on or before July 1st - That's definite unless I die before, which