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5.

for 1/2 hr at a time. Damn it's lovely!;

I read B. philosophy & observe it's insideous effects on a people; see a few close friends; spend more & more time alone += not in  I fight I must win  psychotic catatonia ←away→ but in new calmness & simple things/states to do one thing at a time: to do it well. I've always felt so elusive. Now, I realize that all we are is a series of mental states- the only knowable of which is "change". All life is in a state of flux; yet thru these transient states are subtler higher goals, that to hear Dhamma from a spiritually enlightened being is so simple we nearly miss "it" or have to be told what "it" actually is. I want to control my mind not it control me in erratic flights of emotion- not emotionless but not intense up and downs. Inner deep calmness