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[[clipping]] IF I SHOULD DIE TO-NIGHT.
BY MRS. J. M. WINTON.

If I should die to-night,
My friends would look upon my quiet face,
Before they laid it in its resting-place,
And deem that death had left it almost fair;
And, laying snow-white flowers against my hair, Would smooth it down with tearful tenderness, And fold my hands with lingering caress.
Poor hands, so empty and so cold to-night!

If I should die to-night,
My friends would call to mind, with loving thought, Some kindly deed the icy hand had wrought; Some gentle word the frozen lips had said; Errands on which the willing feet had sped-The memory of my selfishness and pride; My hasty words would all be put aside, And so I should be beloved and mourned tonight.

If I should die to-night, Even hearts estranged would turn once more to me, Recalling other days remorsefully, The eyes that chill me with averted glance Would look upon me as of yore, perchance, And soften in the old, familiar way, For who could was with dumb, unconscious clay? So I might rest, forgiven of all, to-night. O! friends I pray to-night, Keep not your kisses for my dead, cold brow; The way is lonely; let me feel them now. Think gently of me; I am travel-worn: My faltering feet are pierced with many a thorn. Forgive, O! hearts estranged, forgive, I plead! When dreamless rest is mine I shall not need The tenderness for which I long to-night.
Republished in Living Age, July 5, 1873. [[/clipping]]

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and came to my room. Gertrudes photographs as she appeared in Esther and in Belshazzar seem wonderfully like her, particularly the Esther which looks as she did one night before its performance when I came up from New York and found them all busy with the costumes I sent up and she dressed and very interested and animated about their arrangement. I have felt a bewildering sense of her absence this afternoon. I wonder if this will increase as time goes on. I have feared that it may. It is still and cold tonight and I am afraid we should have frost. I picked some lovely Morning-Glories today as I have every day since she died. I set a beautiful vase of them before her the day she died and we placed them about her in her coffin and on it. I shall always have a deeper love for these delicate flowers which were always my favorites. I received a letter from Hubbard in Connecticut. 

Friday Oct. 25. 1878 Have busied myself most of the day repairing Parks house and helping to get up the hall stove in which fire was started this afternoon. I picked morning-glories and a rose and sweet peas this morning. I had a letter from Mary Gifford today full of tenderness and sadness and another from Booth full of solicitude and affection, also a business letter from St. Louis regarding my pictures there. I feel so much happier to keep employed, but there come moments when all work seems vain and I give myself up to my sorrow. 

Saturday 26. Wrote to Mary Gifford that Mrs. Sawyer and I would be there on Monday and to Calvert to come up Monday or Tuesday to go to the Mountains. I also wrote to Mrs. Stoddard. Have felt melancholy and depressed all day. My father and I went to the cemetery to see about cutting some of the trees on our lot. Some of the flowers placed on Gertrudes grave the day of the funeral were still fresh and blooming. I gathered some Morning Glories this morning so there has been no frost yet. I had a touching and affectionate letter from Mrs. Wheeler and Mr. Waters sent me a copy of resolutions passed at a meeting of the State Charities aid 

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