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only get started it seems to me now I might do something very noble, but when I take up my colors They seem so slow to respond to my thought. I called on [[Loop?]] and left the little portrait of Gertrude in which he is going to indicate some lace and suggest the bust. I had a letter from Sara enclosing one from Janette which has affected me all day very strangely. She says unqualifiedly that she has spoken with Gertrude, has actually heard in a whisper the tone of her voice and she sent a message to me. Knowing how impossible it is for her to send any word to me through any one else I nevertheless wonder how a conscientious person like Janette can be so impressed with the reality of such an illusion. She is to come to New York this week and I must see her reluctantly for all this business is most distasteful to me and fills me with sensations which I cannot describe. She will probably go to Rondout. I dread this meeting.

Thursday Jan. 23. 1879. Called on Julia this morning to inquire about Janette, but she was not at her studio. Went to consult Dr. Hunt, oculist with Dr Joslyn, about my eyes which have troubled me ever since just before Gertrude died. After a close examination he came to the conclusion that my glasses were not quite strong enough and I bought a new pair such as he ordered. Bought tickets at the Standard Theatre for Monday for John & Lucy and Mary & me and came to my studio. I am surprised to see how much more I accomplish by having my breakfast so early. I get all my errands done now before the time I used to have my breakfast. Whittredge came in and after he went I took the elevated road and went down to see about the curtain brackets. Shortly after I came back Mr. Goodman called, then Mr. Benjamin to see me about an illustration for his article on artists in Harper, then Miss Durfee, to see about a picture for Baltimore, then Mr. Y[[?ung]]ling an engraver who has written to me to get me to make an illustration. He showed me proofs of his work which was excellent but I declined to make any kind of a drawing for him for less than a hundred dollars. I am disappointed not to get a letter from Lucy tonight. 

Monday Jan. 27. 1879.  Went home on Friday with the 4 P.M. train crossed the river in the ice in the stage and Tom met me at the