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89 Sunday Aug. 17. 1879. It has rained all day and been a most cheerless melancholy day to me. I have missed dear Gertrude so much, that the thought that I shall never see her again is almost insupportable. Seeing her mother about brings her vividly before me and I think she must feel her absence here very keenly. I can hardly bring myself to speak of her to her mother and father. I cannot control my emotions. Mr. Sawyer looks much older to me and I think dear Gertrudes death has been a great blow to him. I have written to Lily French today answering her letter received yesterday. Monday 18. It has been a most melancholy day, the rain has never ceased. This afternoon Mrs. Sawyer and I looked over darling Gertrudes things and I told her to take whatever she wished. It was most trying and tearful work and tonight I feel exhausted from the strain which has been upon me all day. I could hardly bear to disturb the things which she so carefully put away with her own hands, with her never failing sense of order. I feel that gradually these precious relics are being put out of sight and though it costs me many pangs I feel it is better so. It wrings my heart anew to see them and when they are gone I shall gradually forget them. I have kept a list here of what I gave Mrs. Sawyer. Best black silk dress Red & black silk dress Grenadine silk dress Purple merino morning dress Balmoral Black camels hair sack 4 skirts Grandmothers red shawl White camels hair shawl Rob-Roy plaid shawl Toilet shoes 30 Handkerchiefs 7 collars 10 prs. cuffs 13 prs. stockings 1 pr. silk stockings Aunt Marthas lace collar 1 lace collar 2 lace ruffles 2 lace cuffs Lace for neck Satin tie with lace White pique dress Lace collar (blue riband) Embroidered muslin tie Black lace barb 4 Reform waists 4 flannel undershirts 1 flannel Drawers 2 flannel Skirts 2 nightgowns 3 pr. Drawers 3 Waists 2 aprons 2 muslin sacks 1 corset White Carnelian ear drops. Gold eye glass Crystal buckle (as [[?]]) Opera of Don Carlos (for Alice) July 15. 1880. Black silk skirt & lace (for Alice Silver pitcher
