Viewing page 120 of 473

This transcription has been completed. Contact us with corrections.

110

looking ahead to some time in state that must give her back to me. How I wonder if she is conscious of my desolation and if she can possibly feel the pain of separation and if she waits and longs for me as I do for her - Mrs. Forsyth was buried today. Sara went to the funeral but I did not. There was no use of my going and I knew it would only make me feel sad. Miss Mallison & Mrs. Rudolph Tappen spent the afternoon and took tea with us and Sade and I walked up to Kingston with them as the car did not come when we went down to meet it. Sara received a letter from Jake Sharpe in answer to her invitation to them to spend Thanksgiving with us, saying they would come. 

Saturday Nov. 8" 1879. Went to my studio immediately after breakfast, built the fire in the Franklin which works very nicely and painted a little on Gertrudes portrait. I think it looks very like her now. After that I got all my materials together and began the picture for which Lucy stood, the girl watering the vase of flowers. I made the head a little larger which takes away from the height of the figure. I drew it in and laid it in before dark. My design is to paint a light toned picture and call it Summer. I regret now that I did not get dear Gertrude to stand for me, for she it was who suggested the picture as I used to see her water her flowers, holding back her dress. She had such an elegant figure and with her pretty lilac dress and her grey hair the effect was very charming. How I have sighed for her today and remembered her in a thousand ways as I worked over there alone. I think of her more here and am more sad here at home than any where else, and yet here is where I love to be. It seems to me tonight that if I could have dear Gertrude back again I could bear any trouble in the world - Sara went up to Tivoli to see Jamie today, and found him very contented although he says he never will like it there. Maurice came home this afternoon and went directly to his room and to bed. Sade and I called down at John & Nannies.

Sunday 9. It has been a sad day to me. The air here seems charged with sorrow. Maurice stole out while we were at dinner and came back towards evening in a most wretched condition having been down in the mud. Our hearts are crushed and we know not what to do. I told my father today that I thought in the past he should have held