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evening and from there to a meeting of the trustees at the Century. Mrs. Stoddard came to see me in the afternoon and I had a long sympathetic talk with her.

Friday Feb. 5. 1880. Painted all day putting some little figures in my picture. Went to see Humpty Dumpty in the evening occupying a box with Booth at Booths Theatre. The Spanish students with their mandolins were interesting and also some juggling by some Orientals but the pantomime and ballet were poor and dull.

Saturday 7. Painted. I get no better as to my state of mind feeling all the while that I am accomplishing nothing and troubled and unquiet all the time. I do not sleep as I ought waking very early in the morning with troubled thoughts. I went this afternoon with Mary and Julia to Mrs. Ripleys where I saw many friends and to Mrs. Boardmans. Julia Dillon dined with us and in the evening we all went to a party at Mrs. Thurbers. From there Calvert and I went to the Century monthly meeting. I sent my Don Caesar but almost regret I did. What good will it do except to be criticised. It is a mistake to exhibit any thing but the very best. 

Sunday 8. Staid over at Marys quietly all day only going out with her and Tula to the Century to see the pictures. Came to my room early and went to bed hoping to get some  sound sleep. I am more depressed and unhappy than I can possibly express and am trying to wait patiently until some thing shall occur to lift me out of it. I am constantly thinking of darling Gertrude and cannot put out of sight the loneliness of life without her. 

Monday 9. Painted all day on my picture designed for the Academy "The edge of a wood" and improved it very much. J.G. Brown came in and seemed to like it very much. Church was in also and spoke in commendation of it. A long letter from Lucy. Went to the Council meeting and to the Water Color Exhibition a short time. They have sold nearly two hundred pictures. Came home early and went to bed.

Tuesday 10. Slept badly. Was awake twice during the night and did not awake refreshed. Cannot get rid of an overwhelming feeling of depression. Miss Sullivan and Miss Curtis of New Haven called with a letter from Weir. Mrs. Gifford and Mrs. Wilson called. Went to our drawing class in the evening but the model