Viewing page 166 of 473

This transcription has been completed. Contact us with corrections.

165

immediately but it seems to me now I was in a very abnormal condition of mind. We had a long and frank talk and I was glad she could introduce the subject to me. She and Mary and I went to see Booth as Bertuccio. He is very powerful in it and I think plays it better than ever before. I did not use to care for it but it affected me greatly last night. 

Saturday Apl. 10. 1880. Painted on my picture from near Roggens and changed the whole idea. I found it lacked interest. I am greatly troubled with it. Sara and I went out to Elizabeth to visit Jake Sharpe. We met him at the tram. 

Sunday 11. We spent the night at Jakes. His house is small and I fear we put them to trouble. Jake and I had to sleep together and this is never agreeable to me. I did not sleep well. We came back to N.Y. at noon. The wind blew a gale and the weather most disagreeable. It is impossible for me to describe my unhappiness. I am wretched and lonely and dread the days as they succeed each other. Julia Dillon dined with us. She is to sail for Europe on Tuesday. I think of dear Gertrude all the time. Mr. & Mrs. Bachelder called on me on Saturday. She looked melancholy. Mrs. Weir told me she has a cancer. She said she was not well and was here consulting a physician. We talked of Gertrude and it made me most unhappy to see her looking so badly. I came over to my room and did some writing and then went back to Marys. After dinner Calvert went to Mrs. Booths and I spent the evening with Mary and Sara. I have no inclination to make visits and find it grows more and more difficult. 

Monday 12. Painted all day on my picture. I begin to think now I will make some thing of it. Sade and Mary came to see me. Sade is to go home by the 4 oclock train. It is a great comfort to me to be near her and Mary. I had notice today that my picture had been delivered at the Royal Academy. It remains to be seen now whether or not they accept it. Went to the Council meeting in the evening. 

Tuesday 13. Received a note from Mrs. Weir urging me to come up there tomorrow with Gifford, his wife and Mary. I had engaged to dine with the Bachelders but Mrs. Weir knew that and said she would write to them. Went to the hotel and left a note for the Bachelders as they were not in. Lily McEntee called to return a Venetian Vase I lent Julia. Julia Dillon sailed for Europe this morning at 7. A letter chiding me for being despondent and telling me to break up here and go to England. Mary and Mrs. Weld came to see me.