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letter to Weir and one to Booth. Cousin Rachel and Gussie and one of her children called and Mrs. Roores also to invite my father and mother to Dewitts wedding Oct. 14"

Monday Oct. 4" 1880. Went to the Strand to the mail. As I was coming up Union Av a horse ran away and threw a man out bruising his head considerably. Found out that the grading of Chestnut St. referred only to a small portion of it and near the Cemetery. They are picking the apples of which we have an immense crop. We have given away bushels of them but now the rest are to be made into vinegar. The weather is windy and dry and not inspiring to me. I wish we would have a long rain. The wells and streams are drying up. Out on the [[??]] the trout are dying. I have tried to paint a little today but could not do much. I am worrying over my water color which does not please me. I think I will begin a new one. With a strong feeling of necessity to produce some thing, I seem unable to do it. I am unhappy, unhappy. I read over some of my diary of 1872. Of one Christmas time when we were all here together. How different it all was then, but even then I thought it would not always be so. I dreamed last night that Gussie suddenly appeared to me and called me "ma chere" and it startled me and I said to her "that for a moment I thought it was Gertrude. I know I awoke feeling as though I had heard the sound of her voice. 

Tuesday 5. Two letters received today have affected me very strangely, one from Alice to Sara telling her of a significant circumstance which happened at the Universalist convention at N. Cambridge Mass. Mr. Sawyer was preaching when suddenly Mr. Flanders, a Universalist clergyman who was sitting near Mrs. Sawyer turned to her and asked her if she had lost three children. She said she had. Well he said Gertrude is here with two children. I see her as plainly as I ever did when she was living and she is listening to Mr. Sawyer. She says she sees her Uncle Kenrick and he is painting again being with some of the old painters &c. Then I have received a letter from Janette in which she tells me Gertrude has communicated with her through a lady in Troy a Mrs. Rogers who once met me at one of the artists receptions years ago telling her that she is near me always with her undying love and visits me nightly and sees my grief for her but cannot make her presence known to me. These things cannot but disturb me while I cannot believe they are other than mental phenomena which I cannot pretend to understand, but if this be true Gertrude must be unhappy and I cannot believe that and why if she could make herself known to a stranger could she not to me whom she loved best of any one in the world. These things coming so near together have had a most strange effect upon me. I am sure Janette is entirely sincere, but what does it all mean. 
Sara and I took a ride out to Flat bush. It was a grey sober [[strikethrough]] after [[/strikethrough]] forenoon and the color was very fine but the clouds cleared in the afternoon. Mr and Mrs. J. M. Norths golden wedding occurred this evening. Pa and Ma were invited but did not go. A letter from Lucy.