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Tuesday Nov. 14. 1880. Tried to paint two little winter sketches recollections of something I saw going home but did not succeed
very well. Called on Shattuck. He seems to feel very discouraged about art matters. As for me I am almost in despair because I do not see what I am to do if I do not sell something soon.  I try to shut my eyes to it but cant. Went with
Mary, Calvert and Downing to the Academy of Music to hear the "Damnation of Faust" By Berlioz.  There was a fine orchestra and a chorus of 500 led by Dr. [[Damsosch]] There were roles by Mad'lle Valleria and three other male voices. It was very enjoyable and there was a full house. I came home to my loneliness and my remembrances of dear Gertrude whenever I
have heard any music, which she so loved. Wrote to Sara.

Wednesday 15.  Have felt very discouraged today. All I hear about the condition of American art is most discouraging. A man called to see me about getting a picture to help him
start an art room or brokerage, but there is too much borrowing and too little buying. Have painted as my picture with figure of a girl leaning against a tree. Everyone seemed to think I ought to make my trees darker against the sky and I have done the best I can not sure it is better. I went up to Eastman Johnsons this evening but to my great disappointment they were not at home so I came back and spent the evening at the club, returning to my room with a very forlorn feeling.  Wrote to Alice.

Thursday 16.  Went up to Mrs. Wheelers work rooms to invite her to go with me to the opera tomorrow night. She could not go but suggested Dora and I had a note from her saying she would 
be glad to go. Have painted on several of my pictures today. I have no heart to begin anything new. When I saw the rich stuffs on which Mrs. Wheeler was at work it was easy to account for the little interest in pictures.  There is no place for pictures in the houses where these things go. I have been painting on dear Gertrudes portrait for her mother hoping I
can yet get something satisfactory out of it. A long encouraging letter from Sara.

Friday 17. Eastman Johnson came and I had a long talk with him on many things. He recognises the necessity of doing some thing to keep our art from falling into utter contempt & neglect. I think something will be done for we are all feeling the absurdity of this situation. Beard came bringing Mrs Hopkins and a young lady. She professes a great admiration for my pictures but they havent "room".  Mr. Southworth who proposes starting a weekly art paper called for the second time and talked of his plans. It is to be devoted to the interests of American art. I told him it was a worthy field but a most difficult one. He seems to have energy but I am not sure of his ability or his persistence in following out a settled and well digested plan.  We certainly need any aid we can get and I hope he may do some