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good. I had a strange letter from Weir, lecturing me pretty sharply as I should not presume to write to him. He says he does it with the kindest intentions and I shall try to believe it but I cant help thinking he is a little irritated at my letter from Rondout. I began a new picture today on the ruins of my winter picture. It is in a doubtful state. I feel desperately until I get thoroughly at work. I think I will work out a picture at last. Went to see the opera of "Lucia" this evening taking Dora Wheeler. Gerster sang in it and I enjoyed it as I always do in my own way. 

Saturday Dec. 18. 1880. Am not accomplishing much. Trying to construct a picture but find it difficult. There are too many anxieties and so little encouragement. Shattuck came in and talked a long time. He seems to feel very discouraged, but he has not progressed lately and besides has been away out of two, I believe was not here at all last winter. I now there are people who want my pictures if I could only reach them. Found a note in my box as I went home to dinner, from young Townsend who called on my a few days ago with regard to establishing himself as an art broker. He said a gentleman would like to see one of my pictures and asks me to let him have one a short time, which I will do. I went to the opening of the Salmagundi Club this evening. A great throng of people and many interesting works. From a hasty glance there seemed to be a great deal of ability displayed. Afterwards went to the Club. Lucy told me a great deal about Thompson confidentially. His life seems to have been wasted and from all accounts his habits must be pretty bad. I came to my room at midnight with an inexpressible longing for dear Gertrude in my loneliness and life seemed not worth living now that she is no more.

Sunday 19. Came to my room and wrote a note to young Townsend and then went over to Hoboken and called at the Cooks. Saw Mrs. Pychowska, "Dovey" Edith and Eugene. Everything seemed just as usual there only thing are all growing older. They urged me to stay to dinner but I had promised Mary I would be back. I made a short call. After dinner I went up and called on Mrs. Gifford. Stopped on my way at the Coleman House to inquire if Oscar were still there. They said he was but was not in then. I can't understand why he has not answered my note nor come to see me. Went to Eastman Johnsons to tea and spent the evening. But am always glad when I lie down in my bed and forget every thing.
 
Monday 20. A dark cold day. Have felt very badly all day and have sat in front of the fire the most of the time. Went to Mrs Henrys Reception to Ernest Paston and his wife which I enjoyed notwithstanding I felt so badly. She is a bouncing English girl. There were no one there except Artists and their wives Bridgerman and his wife were there to whom I was introduced. He seemed a modest pleasant man. He spoke in praise of my