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Saturday January 22. 1881. Went home by 11 o clock train feeling very sadly and glad that I had this blessed home to go to. Maurice met me at Rhinebeck with a sleigh. Our rain had all been snow up there and I have rarely seen such a body of snow as covers the country up there. Found a long letter from Booth, very interesting and giving me a glimpse of his trials. Also a letter from Janette.

Sunday 23. A beautiful winter day. The weather has been very regular now for a long time. Answered Booth's letter. Have been filled with thoughts of dear Gertrude and shed many tears alone in my room thinking of her and longing for her. This evening coming up to my room I looked out of the West window over toward the cemetery across the snowy landscape. A large, brilliant star hung low in the sky directly above her grave which I could see from my window but for the little house in our garden. It seemed like a revelation of her own sweet presence meant for my longing, waiting eyes. All the time at home I am filled with tender thoughts of her and cannot bear to go away for I seem nearer her here.

Monday 24. Very cold still. The mercury at 2° above zero after 8 o clock this morning but very still. I saw the steam from the locomotive lying just as it came out nearly all the way from Staatsburg to Rhinebeck. Have been reading "The Wooing O'T. by Mrs Alexander for the second time. Bayard Taylor recommended it to me and gave me this copy. It is a charming story. Have also read "Kilmeny" second time and can now read up the "Norman of Horror" by Einault. Came down by morn train to N.Y. Sara and Marnie drove me over the ice. A beautiful winter day but I was sad to leave home. At Pokeepsie Major Wilkinson and Jas. Gifford get in the train and I sat with them. They are on business connected with Sanford's estate. We dined together with Richard Butler this evening at the Union League Club. I had to leave to go to the Council. Miss Ford not admitted to the School.

Tuesday 25. Painted all day on my large picture and advanced it. Jas. Gifford, Butler, Wilkinson, Paul Gifford and I dined in Sanford's studio and spent the evening amassing the remaining sketches, about 150, for the framers. They gave me two of Sanfords Sketch books those he had in Italy when we were there in 1868 & 1869. I shall probably never dine in that familiar place again where we have had so many delightful dinners with the old friends, so many of whom are dead and gone. Oh how sad are all these changes. How can I keep cheerful or look with any anticipation into the future. I have an ominous pain in my lungs which I do not like now that I am here alone