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life and I could see how the stern faith in which he had been raised failed to satisfy him and how he was trying to believe in something more hopeful and satisfying. Today is Marions 17" birthday. I gave her a little present of a scarf for her neck. It rained this evening and Justin went to have an entertainment at the house so Calvert and I went to the club and from there to see the competitive exhibition of designs for Christmas cards at Morris Gallery. There was not much that was new or striking and I presume it was hardly reasonable to expect it. We went back to the club again for a little while and then I came to my room.

Saturday Feb. 19. 1881. Went home by 11 Oclock train. Maurice met me at the station and drove me over on the ice. Mary Vaux and Cornelia Ellis were there. It is such a satisfaction for me to be at home. Sent little picture to Bates.

Sunday 20. A beautiful bright day. I wrote to Alice and a short letter to Weir telling him I would go home with him on Thursday. Read "Silas Marner" and have only a few days ago finished. "The Mill on the Floss. I wish I had the gift of constructing interesting plots. It must be a great satisfaction to write. I am troubled that I dont find this supreme satisfaction in any painting I ever did. How constantly I think of dear Gertrude at home and seem to live in a different world. I do not get over the unutterable longing to have some sort of communication with her. Janette sent me a paper with Epes Sargents communication through a medium of his sensations the first day after death, or on entering the Immortal life. I wonder if there is any satisfaction to mortals in all this. It would be a great relief, I confess to our longing, aching hearts if we could get hold of something in which we could put faith regarding the other life, and many who believe in these spiritual communications do seem to feel a certain sense of repose and content.

Monday 21. Snowed a little last night. Maurice drove me over the river in the sleigh and I came down by the noon train. I feel so sad always on leaving home. I would be glad if I had made provision for the summer and were going home to stay. Perhaps it is better for me to be here, but I am so lonely and sad and homesick that life is not very enticing here. Whenever I see any little things associated with dear Gertrude I want to take everything connected with her home and stay there where my own people are. I found a letter at home from Janette. Attended the council.

Tuesday 22. Painted in the forenoon and in the afternoon. Went with Marion and Lily Taylor to the Museum of Art to attend the ceremonies of the reception of the Obelisk. We had to wade through the mud to the museum. There was a great crowd and we were obliged to stand and could hear nothing. Called on Miss Nixon and at Joe Connells but they were out. Mrs. Johnson was home and I found Whittredge there. We came down together and he came to my