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spend this evening with her. Went to the council for a little while and then to Miss Hillards where were Mrs. Jacoby, Miss Fidelia Bridges and two other ladies. Cold as winter and the dust blowing in clouds. I feel discouraged and sad and have no inclination to work. My pictures both came back from Springfield. It seems very difficult to sell anything and there is so great need of my selling that I am greatly troubled. I cant think of my work, only of my sorrow.

Tuesday 5. The worst of days. Windy & cold and the city a cloud of dust. Went to the American Artists exhibition. A strange kind of art, interesting in many ways but wholly unsatisfying. Bastien Lepage's Joan of Arc is interesting but repulsive and ugly. All other pictures give me a strange unhappy feeling. Met Mr. Huntington by appointment at the Kirby Gallery where Giffords pictures are being exhibited to select something for the Century which has voted $2000 to be spent for a picture or pictures of Gifford. We did not come to any conclusion. Mr. Gordon and Eastman Johnson are associated with us. Painted on the Shokan brook but I have no inclination and my work does not interest me. I wish I were able to leave it and go away for a time. Went away up to Eastman Johnsons to call but they were out. Called at Fred Nortons but they too were out. Went around to the club for a little while.

Wednesday 6. Tried to paint commencing a small picture of Spencer Creek but I have painted it before and my enthusiasm is gone. Went up to the Academy a while this morning. Went up to Eastmans again this evening but he was out so I came back to the club for a while.

Thursday 7. Awoke greatly depressed and my thoughts have been with dear Gertrude. The loneliness of my life seems almost insupportable and yet I have so much that others have been deprived of. Tried to paint but could hardly force myself to work. Wrote to Sade that I would come home Saturday. When I went down to mail it I met an elderly man in the hall who proved to be Mr. Howland of Auburn an old Clinton School companion whom I have not seen for about thirty seven years. He came up to my room and spent an hour or more. Said he would have known me if he had met me in the street. I dont think I can have changed as much as many do. We talked over school days and the experiences of life and were greatly interested in meeting each other. After he went away a Miss Nesmith called. She is a friend of my sister Lucys and was in Arizona with her. Her brother was an army officer. He and his wife went to Cape May last summer and his wife was drowned there. He did in three