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her arm and hand were useless. Sara gives her electricity twice a day and we are in hopes she may recover, but I confess it seems very doubtful to me. I am troubled about our affairs in addition and begin to feel again the heaviness and sadness of a year ago. It has been a rainy, dismal day. I have busied myself making a drawing of my Academy picture for Mr. Kurtzs Academy notes and he came in just as I had finished it and took it with him. I met Mrs. Parton in Woods room and she came in and saw my picture. It was so dark today it did not look well but she seemed to be pleased with it. Miss Nixon called in the rain and wanted me to come up and dine with her which I did. It rained accompanied with heavy thunder and lightning and the wind blew from all directions the smoke all coming down my chimney and filling my room. It was raining when I arrived at Miss Nixons but I had a very pleasant time being the only gentleman among seven ladies, Miss Nixon Miss Gaye, Mrs. Butler & daughter, Mrs Elkins & daughter and a Miss Warfield from Washington all of whom were very pleasant. I was rather appalled at first but found it on the whole very charming.

Wednesday Feb. 22 1882. Painted on my Humboldt picture changing the foreground and greatly improved it. My frame came and the picture looks very well in it and I feel more encouraged about it. Have not heard from home today and so I hope my mother is at least no worse. Received a letter from Weir in which he takes occasion to say he fears I am growing tired of him. I dont think he would have written but for a matter of business. I hardly knew how to reply but I confess I do not feel the freedom with him I once did. I daresay it is as much my fault as his. I think I am too sensitive and thus I cant sympathise with his notions of art which he seems to have adopted lately. His pictures are bad to me and he thinks them good. I think he is going astray and he thinks he has discovered new things and that makes an embarrassment. Calvert and I called on the Goddards.

Thursday 23. Painted all day on my Humboldt picture. Called upon Miss Nesmith in the evening. 

Friday 24. Cold again. Have finished my picture and improved it by putting a figure on horseback near the foreground. Calvert and I attended Millets lecture at the Academy and afterwards went to the club. I am unhappy and discouraged and am beginning to feel again the nagging anxieties that pursued me a year ago. I have a feeling of loneliness and think of the days when I had my dear Gertrude to sympathise with me in all my troubles, with a sinking of the heart and an awful dread of the unstable changes of the future.

Saturday 25. Calvert and I went home by Wallkill Valley. It was cold and there was considerable snow up home. Very glad to find my mother decidedly