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347

country. The furnace heat in the homes he thinks interminable and I agree with him. He gave me a set of the autotypes and Johnson also.

Wednesday March 15" 1882. As cold as winter again. Painted all day on my twilight but it does not suit me. I am afraid I shall have to abandon it. Mary came home today bringing Lucy with her. Calvert and I went around the the club for a little while. Ehringer came and sat alongside me on one of the sofas and talked to Terry, Dr Conant and Judge Speir. I think he would like to make friends with me, but while I cherish no resentment toward him I can never call him friend again. He talked of foolish things, of his dog and the wonderful things he does. If ever any one fritters away a life he has. Has never made a position as an artist and yet he foolishly considers himself more of a man than many who do not make half his pretense. 

Thursday 16. Miss Teale came in today while I was at work and paid me the balance on her picture to my great satisfaction. Mary, Lucy and I called on Miss Nesmith and her sister and after we returned I went to the club where I heard that some one had sent an anonymous letter to Mayor Walter who has the Sharpless Washington pictures there advising him to take them away as it would not be safe to leave them there and some one complained to the house committee that the club was being made a market place and that Mayor W. was violating the rules by asking strangers there, which was not true. Newton of the house committee spoke to him about it in rather a blunt way. The anonymous letter was an outrage and every one who knew of it was indignant and declared that the offender if discovered would be summarily dismissed from the club. Sat and talked with Reid until 1 o' clock.

Friday 17. Each succeeding day is an experience of anxiety and despondency. The future is full of terrors and trials and I feel my energy and enthusiasm in my painting gradually waning and by reason of the lack of interest in what I do. Still I ought to face these things with more courage since I have met them so many times before. Painted on my large picture and got interested in certain changes I made. Bowyer came in and I paid him some more of his capital. In the evening Lucy and I went to see Patience at the Standard Theatre. Afterwards went to the club and Thompson and I talked of our troubles. It seems to me every one grows unhappy as they grow older.