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Saturday March 18, 1882. Lucy and I went home by the 4 oclk train. Found my mother much improved and able to walk about.

Sunday 19 Sedgwick and I took a walk out to the view and around the cemetery. We went in on our return and I showed him his dear Aunt Gertrudes grave. He saw her laid there and said he remembered it. Spent a part of the day reading over my diary. I was struck to notice how many more people used to come here to visit us. I had my anxieties then but there seemed much more joy and sunshine in life and I could always find refuge among peers and friends. It seems to me I did not have the desperate feelings I often have now.

Monday 20: Concluded to remain at home until tomorrow which is the 82 " anniversary of my fathers birth day. I wish I could stay at home for a while now while my sisters are all here but I don't know that I would be released from the awful despondency under which I suffer. Wrote to Booth and to Weir. Sara and I attended a meeting of the Literary club at Lounsberrys to which we walked. Mr. Rafferty read the essay on Epic poetry a subject I don't know much about as I said so. We take too abstruse subjects and want to seem [[so?]] wise. Joe Tomkins came from N.Y.

Tuesday 21: My father is 82 years old today. We were all there except Girard and Mary Vaux. He seems very well but I could not help regretting that he is not more flourishing in worldly matters. It does not trouble him however and I am glad it does not. It snowed this morning and rained later. I came back to town by the evening train very reluctantly and with a heavy heart. Went to the Century and had some supper. While several of us were sitting at the supper table Ehringer came and a very boisterous offensive manner sat down and talked over my head. I could not help a disagreeably conscious feeling and I know he did but he had more skill in hiding it. Some times I fancy he would like to make up with me but I can never have any respect for him again and I don't want to attempt any show of companionship.

Monday 22: Eastman came in and talked with me about painting a picture with him, portraits of two children in a wood, I to paint the landscape. He has written the man who lives in Portland that he will do it for $1000, a picture 30 inches high. I told him he might give me what he chose for my part. Rev Mr. Baker called. Gertrude used to know him as "Ned Baker" He talked of her and had only recently heard of her death. He was a bitter copperhead during the war I have heard. He has grown very ministerial. Dined with Eastman and we settled on our picture and I brought the camera and photographs home with me.

Thursday 23. Commenced the portrait picture and worked all day on it. I hope I will work with interest and make a good thing of it. I would like to get in the way of painting

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