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I was obliged to put it out I read some of my diary of just after dear Gertrudes death and I see how much sorrow I have felt. Towards the following spring I began to be worried with the same kind of money troubles I am having now and it seems to me most of my professional life has been haunted by this spectre. I believe I could be reasonably happy if I were succeeding moderately in my profession but there is so much uncertainty about it that there seems no peace. I wish I had the worldly wisdom to conduct my affairs better. Beard came in and I found on talking with him he has the same troubles and has to go and solicit people to buy his pictures. Calvert and I went in the evening to the Academy and attended the distribution of the prizes to the students after which we went to the club. Thompson was there, had been moving his studio to 34" St was tired and discouraged I presume and had evidently been drinking for he talked injudiciously. We came away together and he remarked he wished he had not talked so much. At least I have not his kind of trouble.

Saturday May 13. 1882. I took up the Tribune over at Marys just before breakfast and was greatly shocked to see a notice of the death, yesterday of Jensen Anderson. What a shock and what a loss to his family and to his father. Girard told me last Sunday he was sick with some trouble in his head. He employed Dr Chalker but sent for Sara who declined to go feeling they had not treated her well and besides she does not take gentleman patients. Girard said he felt grieved that she refused to go but I think she was justified and I told her so. Still it will be a grief to her. His death in the prime of his manhood will be a shock to the whole community and makes me very sad. 
Downing and I went up to Dunlaps and saw the two birch bark hats he had made. They were measurably successful and we are to send him some braid and he is to make some up differently. Lunched at Marys with Gussie, Laura and her little girl and Edwina and went home by 4 o'clock train

Sunday 14. Attended Jensen Andersons funeral from the house at 2'oclock. There was a great concourse  of his friends and acquaintances, among them the officers and men from the Powell who were deeply affected particularly Guernsey Betts who was entirely overcome when he took his last look at him. I did not go to the grave. Maurice came home from Newport to attend the funeral

Monday 15. A letter from Booth which I answered. Took a walk over to the cemetery to see if the sweet brier on dear Gertrudes grave were living. I fear it is not. Went to Jensens grave and saw the faded flowers and the footsteps in the soft earth of those who laid