Viewing page 133 of 607

This transcription has been completed. Contact us with corrections.

115

a tremendously black cloud came up and I thought I was in for a wetting, but fortunately I got under a shed just where the rail road crosses Union Avenue and got to the train station before the rain came. It rained hard. The mountain train was behind time but May came. The shower had recently passed. Had had her bag checked from Kingston so I had to drive up to the Fair St Station for it. The station man was not there. Saw the satchel but could not get it. Left word at Winters to send it, drove back to the station and got Mary and came home. It was 7 o clock. Joe talked to me but I soothed him as well as I could and I think he feels better. A letter from Bonyer and one from Downing.

Sunday Aug 31" 1884. It has been a beautiful day the wind having changed to N.W. Mary Gifford, Joe Tomkins and I took a walk this afternoon out to the river and home through the cemetery stopping at the resting place of our beloved dead. This evening we all went over to Girards and May told us my father had been over there and seemed to feel very badly that we had spoken of renting the house. I think he feels lonely at the idea of Marys going back to N.Y. which she expects to do next Friday. My poor father. I feel the greatest pity for him. His life must be pretty sad now with not much to entertain him and his deafness and poor sight shutting him out from much that might interest him. Mary Gifford and I were talking today of the sadness of life and she said she no longer believed in happiness and that it was not intended we should be happy. It almost seems so. I know I try to think what will be best for us as a family but it seems almost impossible to harmonize all interests. My father seems to think sometimes it is a cruel thing to disturb him since he feels he has not long to live, and so it would be if we could own it. I wish we could go on here just as we have, but I must go to N.Y. and my father and Sara alone here is a sad thing for me to contemplate. I feel most unhappy at our condition and wish I had the wisdom to know what to decide upon. Sometimes it seems as though it would be best just quietly to await events and act without any plans for the future. Joe seems entirely unsettled and adds to my anxieties by his sunny lack of any plan for himself. I do not know what he intends to do and I doubt if he does. He speaks of going away tomorrow but does not seem decided. I feel sorry for him and told him today I should think he would feel better to remain at home with Gertrude but he seems to dread being there and so I cannot tell what he wants to do, nor do I believe can he. I only know that with all my planning for the welfare of our family I do not seem able to come to any conclusion and when I do there are objections from my father which I cannot disregard. I am glad when night comes and I can forget in blessed sleep the troubles which seem to beset our daily lives. So ends the last day of summer with the problem of happiness and serenity of life unsolved.

Monday September 1" 1884
Joe and Mary Gifford left by the 10.15 ferry boat. I asked Joe when he was going home but he said he didnt know. He said he felt much better but I am afraid as soon as he is alone he will be miserable. I tried to encourage him but the trouble is we must find encouragement from within, if any where. I went to Abbeys and paid our bill of about $30. and renewed the note of $233 for three months then I went to the Rondout bank and found out the discrepancy 

Transcription Notes:
---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-01 11:18:42 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-01 15:08:27 .