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invited to dine very informally I was quite surprised at such an array of guests.

Saturday Feb. 7th 1885. I received a short note from Alice telling me her mother is very low and her symptoms are very alarming. I wish I could go on for Mrs. Sawyer has repeatedly expressed a wish to come see me. I actually have not the money for my fare there and besides I have asked Eastman Johnson to go up with me tomorrow. This I could arrange but I am troubled about my father I have a conviction I shall never see Mis Sawyer again and even now as I write she may have been released from all her trials. I feel so troubled today about many things that the look ahead seems full of wearines. I sent my picture of the Winter Sunset to the Century and so much depends upon its success and I am so afraid that I will feel disappointed when I see it there that I dread to go there this evening. Went to the club in the evening. There was not a very full meeting but an unusual number of artists. My picture looked I thought as well as in my room. I had never seen it by gas light before. Several spoke to me about it in commendation. Perry said it was the only sunset sky he ever saw that did not look painty. Ware th architect told me he  thought it a noble picture and that it impressed him greatly Wood said it looked even better than in my studio and altogether I felt much encouraged.

Sunday 8"  Had my breakfast in my room after a walk up to 26" St + back. Then I walked up to the 42 St. ferry where Eastman had already arrived. It promised snow but before we got to Kingston the sun came out. Tom met us with the two horse sleigh and little Girard was with him. It looked misty and beautiful and it had snowed a little. Found my father in bed almost helpless from his fall. Eastman and I went in to see him and encourage him. After dinner I took Toby and the Cutter and Eastman and I drove out in the Flat bush road and crossing over came home by the Red house. We went and saw my father again who does not like to be alone.

Monday 9th.  Sara and I both think my father is improving a little and we hope after the soreness of the bruise subsides a little he will get about again. Eastman went up and talked with him again before we left We came away in the noon train. I was sad to leave Sara and my father. Eastman enjoyed his visit and said he would like to stay longer. It promised snow when we left but rained and froze when we reached town. The river was full of ice and the ferry boat had difficulty in crossing at 42" St. It seems lonely and sad but I try to repel discouragement knowing how it always is sad to get back here. I talked with Eastman about my plan of taking taking pupils and he thinks it an excellent idea and thinks I am most favorably fixed to do it. I look forward to it with much hope and interest. While I was at home I received a letter from Miss Bessie in answer to the one I wrote her father when I heard of her mothers death. There is no further news from Alice and I hope her mother may be better. The sidewalks when I went to dinner were sheets of ice. Later the rain fell in torrents. I went over to the club about 9 and met Eastman there. We looked at all the pictures. I think mine looked as well as I expected, but the hope of any ones buying it is a very feeble one. I came to my room in the drenching rain feeling sad and discouraged. Think of spending a whole winter in the city where I have lived nearly 30 years and made my mark, and selling only one small picture in all that time. 

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---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-04-27 15:36:25 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-02 22:48:28 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-03 11:03:55