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of the house. I can find no words to express my loneliness and sorrow I spent a part of the time writing to Lucy. We got my father down stairs to dinner, but he does not seem comfortable away from his room, and went back in the middle of the afternoon. John and Nannie came in and spent the evening.

Monday 6" April 1885. I discovered yesterday that the cellar had water in it which did not run out and also that the haulyard on the flag staff was broken just above the main mast. Yesterday was rather a mild day and in the morning I heard the robin, the blue bird, the song sparrow and a melancholy little Phebe. Today the wind has blown a gale from the N.W. I went down town and bought new haulyards and got a telegraph man to come up and climb the mast with his climbers and catch the broken haulyard. Then he wove the new ones and all is right again. After that Tom dug down to the drain from the cellar and we discovered that then was no obstruction but that the drain is not low enough to carry off the water and as soon as I am able I must have that made lower. All these things in my present state of anxiety trouble me. I see so much to be done and have so little to do it with that I am in despair. If I could only sell some pictures, but that seems almost impossible. I concluded not to come back to New York until tomorrow. Sara went to a meeting of the Home and I spent much of the time with my father. Sara and I sat together in the evening and talked as we always do of the dear ones who are gone yet who are ever present in our hearts. Her isolation there is a source of anxiety to me. She does her arduous duties with a cheerfulness which amazes me, but the place is very sad to us and I either wish we could sell it or do something to make it more cheerful.

Tuesday 7" A bright pleasant morning. I went up to take the 8 oclock train which did not get along until near 9. and reached town at 12. Found Weir & Mrs. Weir had been here. Letters from Lucy, Mrs. Nesmith and one from Charlie Orman saying he had sent 700 yards more braid and speaking kindly of the letter I wrote him about my fathers birth day. Fitch wanted to see me and I went to his room. He had had an offer from Auchincloss to give me one of the studies he bought of me and 180 dollars in cash for my picture which I told Fitch he could offer him for $300. I was obliged to decline it much as I want money but this was so much less than I feel my picture was worth that I feel sure it was not wise to accept it. I went out to get some lunch and on my way back met Mr. & Mrs. Weir. They came to my room for a short call. They have had lots of trouble with illness in the family and Mrs. Weir saw that I was not cheerful. Indeed I do feel most depressed and disheartened, almost in despair. The chances for selling anything are slipping away and I do not know what I am going to do. I do not feel like work. My work is hateful to me and I feel like giving up in despair. Why am I so tired and troubled. Mr. & Mrs. Donaldson dined with us and after dinner we attended the final meeting of the Faust class at Julia Dillons.  

Wednesday 8" Went to the Academy after breakfast at which Mary did not appear as she was not well. I am always troubled when Mary is ill. I told Mr. Galt that if there were any inquiries about my pictures that I would like $600 for my "Sundown - Winter" and 500 

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---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-04-27 17:09:48 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-03 16:11:10 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-03 16:37:17 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-03 22:45:42 .