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fails. He was dressed and came down stairs after dinner and  remained until after ten when he retired and Sara and I went down to see John & Nannie. I go to New York tomorrow morning for the winter with many dreads and misgivings and having many anxieties here at home, not the least of which is leaving Sara here alone with my father. How I wish Lucy were here. I would feel so differently about going. Nothing but necessity would send me away now, but I feel I must get to work and try to make some money.

Monday Nov. 16" 1885 Left for New York for the winter by the Hudson River R.R. in the morning. Arrived here I stopped at Marys and had lunch with Mary, Marion, & Bowyer. Charlie Osman had been there and stopped only a short time as he was going south on a hunting trip. I came over to my room and went directly to work to clean it and get it in order with the help of Annie got it pretty well along before night. After dinner Calvert and I went to a lecture by Bradford, on the Arctic regions at Chickering Hall illustrated with photographs thrown on a screen. There were very few there. Afterwards we went to the Century where I saw Perry, Winslow Homer, Dickman and Bissham. I found a note there from Booth written June 17". I feel heart sick and frightened but try to keep up courage as well as I can. It is always most depressing to return to this great city as I almost invariably do depending upon the future. 

Tuesday 17" Finished the cleaning and arranging my studio and had the windows washed and now begin to feel like going to work. Called on Whittredge but he was not in. Saw Guy a few minutes and called on Casilear who has been confined to his room for some time. Miss Durfil came to see me about a proposed International exhibition at Berlin but I told her frankly I had no interest in it and at best it seemed in a very nebulous condition. She thought she might be able to sell one of my pictures from her room in the Sherwood building and I told her I would let her have one to try, but I have no great faith in it. The art critic of the Star Miss [[blank space]] called to take some notes of my pictures and spoke of coming to Kingston next summer to write an article on Vanderlyn. Spent the evening at Marys and Calvert walked over with me. We are both anxious and worried over our money affairs and can't think of much else. I wrote a note to Mrs. Custer asking if she were at home and if so when it would be agreeable to have me return the book personally. Wrote to Mrs. Warren telling her I had got back to my studio and asking when it would be agreeable to have me come and see her about her picture, and to Fuller telling him I was back and would be glad to see him at his convenience. Wrote to Sara also and mailed the letter on my way to dinner.

Wednesday 18" Calvert and I walked down to Ortigies gallery and took a hasty look at Richard Butters pictures which are to be sold on Friday evening. Giffords "San Giorgio" was there and several smaller pictures by him among them the small study for his "Baltimore 1861" and the Sunday of the 7" Regiment in Camp at Arlington heights. There were two of mine, a winter skating scene and a winter Ruin with moonrise. Then we called at Wilmarts to see if my picture from the Milwaukee exhibition had been sent to the fall Academy exhibition, which I found had been. I came to my room and wrote a note to Richards giving him the title and price. Then I went to work on a little late autumn from one of my studies this fall at Shokan and painted all day with I dont know what success. I am unhappy and miserable as we all are moody on the lack of money and the uncertain future. It seems to me we are all getting less and less able to struggle in the battle

Transcription Notes:
pls read instructions, use [[?]] if word not know, underline is no longer required to note, Winslow Homer!!! Wow 4 [[?]]s as of 4/30 - ALL RESOLVED 5/5 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-05 17:09:34 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-05 21:41:42