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of life. The evenings here in town are dull and I hardly know what to do with myself as I do not feel like seeing any one and fear I am losing all the friends I ever had. In these times of depression I think so sadly of my dear Gertrude and so long for her loving companionship that I can hardly support the loneliness of my situation. Yesterday in cleaning up I came across a number of pamphlets and musical programmes and journals she had saved which were of no use now and which I was obliged to get rid of, but I hesitated a long time before I sent them away, it was like tearing out my very heart strings, it seemed like indifference to her to put aside the least thing she had ever regarded.

Thursday Nov. 19" 1885. Looking over some of my uncompleted pictures this morning I came upon a Shokan subject which it seemed to me I might make interesting by some changes and after thinking over it for a time I set my palette and went to work and worked upon it all day or until it became too dark to see and I think I shall be able to make a good picture. I feel so much better when I am at work and able to forget my anxieties. Arthur Parton came to see me this morning. He is painting for the dealers at small prices. I do not like to do this and I hope it will not be necessary. Conant called and asked me into his studio to see a portrait of Mr. Irenaeus Prime he has been painting. It rained a little towards evening but has cleared off colder. Spent the evening at Marys. We all feel pretty dull there and Calverts prospects for the winter are not encouraging. Coming to my room I found a letter from Sara in which she told me of an expedition she took with Mrs. Overbagh to Flat-bush among the farmers to solicit contributions for the Home. She asked Sara if Sam was going to buy our place and she answered "not that she knew of" that he had looked at it but she thought he had given it up. She answered he has not given it up. They talk about it now. Mrs. Cornell says he shall never have the place where they live and if it had not been for his wife he would have left there long ago, but she could not bear to think of going any where else, but now she says she will not stay there - and much more which Sara was too tired to write me. If this is really the case I think my theory is correct and that he will come to see me. The whole thing comes up to me again, the leaving our old home and all that it involves but I have no misgivings and earnestly hope it may be accomplished. I am most anxious now to talk with Sara about it as I will when I go home on Saturday.

Friday 20" Worked very little today as I had arranged to go with Mary to a fair for the "Diet Kitchen" at Mrs. Lewis' house in 16" St. It is so long since I have been out in anything like society that I dreaded to go, but after all I am glad I went as I met many of my lady acquaintances there, Mrs. Platt Mrs Groote, Mrs. Watrous, Mrs. Kimball, Mrs. Brace, Emma & Leta and several others. Mrs. Kimball introduced me to Mrs. Raymond neé Annie Louise Cary whom I admired so greatly on the Operatic stage. I found her very affable and cordial and told her I was one of the many who perhaps had told her they had worshipped her from afar. I always think of the splendor of the stage. I remarked that it was rare for one to leave so gracefully the triumphs of the stage for the domestic side of life, but she said she was a "Yankee" and had always kept her country habits, that she was brought up in orthodox style which she feared she had departed from a little. I mentioned how I had always wished to meet her and that once she got into a street car where I was and and soon after an intoxicated person got in and sat down beside her and noticing how offensive it was her that I missed the great opportunity of my life not gallantly rescuing her, and that I had always commented I was not able to rise to the occasion. She laughed and told me of handing her "nickel" over to a man to deposit in the cash box in the car for her when he gallantly put it in his pocket and taking out another bowed and said he would treasure that for remembrance. Mr. Mendelson and I had our lunch together and after spending a couple of hours there I left and called   

Transcription Notes:
7 [[?]]s - All now resolved Was able to identify one [[?]]s. Irenaeus Prime was a minister in New York in this period - found his name in NY Times archive. ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-05 17:21:00 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-06 18:10:29