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back to N.Y. by the 7.25 train. It was a lovely moonlight night, there were very few passengers and we came very fast. 

Tuesday Jan. 19" 1886. Awoke late and hurried over to breakfast. When I got down in the entrance hall saw a box directed to me which I knew was from Detroit and supposed of course all my pictures had been returned. It had snowed in the night although the moon was shining when I went to bed. It was raining and a most dismal morning. We were all affected by it and were irritable at breakfast. Immediately after breakfast I hurried off to the dentists. After he had attended to me I walked over to my studio in the rain with no umbrella knowing I could not get into a car at that time in the morning and on such a day. Had my box opened and found they had sent back the two smaller pictures and the frame of the larger one and I now hope they intend to keep that, but as there is no letter I do not know. In my worry about some bills I have to pay I had sent off a note for $450. to Bray to have discounted, which I was most reluctant to do. I have felt badly today and it has been so dark and dismal that I could paint very little. I dont wonder people take their lives in their discouragement such days. I would like to be at home today, it seems so very forlorn here. The streets are in a horrible condition of slush. I spent the evening at Marys but came to my room early because I was uncomfortably warm. Downing was at dinner. He and Marion were to go to the Charity ball.

Wednesday 20". The weather is colder and more agreeable. On my way from Breakfast I stopped at Tiffanys to see about the umbrella which Girard wanted me to inquire about and which I forgot yesterday. Cornell Hose Co. propose a handsome umbrella as a birth day present to Maj. Cornell. I had a very nice reply to my note from Mrs. Church and this afternoon Church called and told me she was much gratified to get my letter. Church looks very feeble and broken. They are going to Mexico in a short time. I began a picture 20 x 24 substantially like the one I sold from the Academy. It seems to have been generally liked and I hope I may sell one if I make it somewhat like. That's what the money makers do. Fanny Lee and Annie Norton called. Fanny is very pretty and vivacious. Just as Church left Miss Teale called but stayed only a short time. Yesterday a Mr. Dana an engraver from Boston called. He is a friend of Mr. Stone who bought a picture of me last winter. He had told Mr. Stone of the picture I had in the Academy this fall and he came to see if he could make a trade. I am afraid I will never hear the last of Stone. After an interminable correspondence I finally sold him a little picture considerably below my price thinking from his talk he was a man of moderate means. Mr. Dana says he is a merchant and prospectively a very rich man as his wife's father is worth several millions and there are but two heirs. I told him he had better be satisfied with his picture, but I should judge he would not be if he heard I had ever painted a better one. The days of discouragement seem to have set in. After waiting for weeks to hear from my pictures in Detroit a letter came this evening offering me less than my price and coupled with the proposal to extend the payment over five or six months. It disheartened and discouraged me and I feel depressed and disappointed. I called at Lockwood Deforests but they were not at home and rang the bell at Dielmans but received 

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